>I am so excited. At lunchtime today (in a few minutes) I go to the bank and get my deposit money for my new place. I’ve been projecting my income and expenses for the next few paychecks and I am tight but manageable. Phew!
As for Proverbs up there. After my visions last night I’ve been considering how it will all work out considering recent events. But then I get this Bible verse this morning: “The human mind plans the way, but the Lord directs the steps.” –Proverbs 16:9. Okay, I’ll stop worrying on it. God will make it happen, if He wants it to happen it will and no one can stop it.
So, I’ve mused about leaving Lakeside. Originally I thought it was because of the relationship I was involved in but now I know that there is a disconnect between my heart and Lakeside so I will be leaving anyway. Today I’ve been considering whether I am supposed to be continuing working at my job. For some reason I am emotionally disconnecting from here as well. Now the disconnect at work could be because I am full of rage and depression over the break-up of my relationship. I am going to try to work through and process that so that I don’t make any hasty decisions. And I will pray that I don’t punch out my supervisor while I’m sorting. LOL, just kidding, I’m not violent. Financially speaking it might or might not be a blessing to leave here. I have made 50% more than I am making now but that was in San Francisco. Also, annual raises are due November 1st. I haven’t had one yet and I’ve been here for 2 years. I’m wondering what kind of raise they’re planning on giving me, if they’re giving me one. Maybe that will be the confirmation whether or not I’m supposed to leave.
Meanwhile, I am just going on with my life. I am moving just as I’ve been planning since Rob and I had that huge fight last spring. I am making adjustments and changes to be ready for whenever the Lord calls me to do whatever it is He wants me to do. (See paragraph above, I think its all related.) I have already had a couple of leads on good churches in the Auburn and Rocklin areas. And with a painter for a landlord I just may sink deeper into my painting. Living out on 5 acres will give me the peace I need to paint and it will also give me fresh air. Okay, there I was thinking about my current neighbors and how much they smoke. It drifts through my bedroom window all day and night so that I either have to keep my window closed (claustrophobic) or use air freshener every day.
Thank You, Lord, for my life. It’s not exactly turning out how I envisioned it would but I know it’s turning out according to Your plans. That is sufficient for me.