>Proverbs 16:9

>I am so excited.  At lunchtime today (in a few minutes) I go to the bank and get my deposit money for my new place.  I’ve been projecting my income and expenses for the next few paychecks and I am tight but manageable.  Phew!

As for Proverbs up there.  After my visions last night I’ve been considering how it will all work out considering recent events.  But then I get this Bible verse this morning: “The human mind plans the way, but the Lord directs the steps.” –Proverbs 16:9.  Okay, I’ll stop worrying on it.  God will make it happen, if He wants it to happen it will and no one can stop it.

So, I’ve mused about leaving Lakeside.  Originally I thought it was because of the relationship I was involved in but now I know that there is a disconnect between my heart and Lakeside so I will be leaving anyway.  Today I’ve been considering whether I am supposed to be continuing working at my job.  For some reason I am emotionally disconnecting from here as well.  Now the disconnect at work could be because I am full of rage and depression over the break-up of my relationship.  I am going to try to work through and process that so that I don’t make any hasty decisions.  And I will pray that I don’t punch out my supervisor while I’m sorting.  LOL, just kidding, I’m not violent.  Financially speaking it might or might not be a blessing to leave here.  I have made 50% more than I am making now but that was in San Francisco.  Also, annual raises are due November 1st.  I haven’t had one yet and I’ve been here for 2 years.  I’m wondering what kind of raise they’re planning on giving me, if they’re giving me one.  Maybe that will be the confirmation whether or not I’m supposed to leave.

Meanwhile, I am just going on with my life.  I am moving just as I’ve been planning since Rob and I had that huge fight last spring.  I am making adjustments and changes to be ready for whenever the Lord calls me to do whatever it is He wants me to do.  (See paragraph above, I think its all related.)  I have already had a couple of leads on good churches in the Auburn and Rocklin areas.  And with a painter for a landlord I just may sink deeper into my painting.  Living out on 5 acres will give me the peace I need to paint and it will also give me fresh air.  Okay, there I was thinking about my current neighbors and how much they smoke.  It drifts through my bedroom window all day and night so that I either have to keep my window closed (claustrophobic) or use air freshener every day. 

Thank You, Lord, for my life.  It’s not exactly turning out how I envisioned it would but I know it’s turning out according to Your plans.  That is sufficient for me.

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About Go Send or Disobey

John Piper said it succiently... "Go, send, or disobey." This is my journey along path to be a missionary of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
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