>Proverbs 16:9

>I am so excited.  At lunchtime today (in a few minutes) I go to the bank and get my deposit money for my new place.  I’ve been projecting my income and expenses for the next few paychecks and I am tight but manageable.  Phew!

As for Proverbs up there.  After my visions last night I’ve been considering how it will all work out considering recent events.  But then I get this Bible verse this morning: “The human mind plans the way, but the Lord directs the steps.” –Proverbs 16:9.  Okay, I’ll stop worrying on it.  God will make it happen, if He wants it to happen it will and no one can stop it.

So, I’ve mused about leaving Lakeside.  Originally I thought it was because of the relationship I was involved in but now I know that there is a disconnect between my heart and Lakeside so I will be leaving anyway.  Today I’ve been considering whether I am supposed to be continuing working at my job.  For some reason I am emotionally disconnecting from here as well.  Now the disconnect at work could be because I am full of rage and depression over the break-up of my relationship.  I am going to try to work through and process that so that I don’t make any hasty decisions.  And I will pray that I don’t punch out my supervisor while I’m sorting.  LOL, just kidding, I’m not violent.  Financially speaking it might or might not be a blessing to leave here.  I have made 50% more than I am making now but that was in San Francisco.  Also, annual raises are due November 1st.  I haven’t had one yet and I’ve been here for 2 years.  I’m wondering what kind of raise they’re planning on giving me, if they’re giving me one.  Maybe that will be the confirmation whether or not I’m supposed to leave.

Meanwhile, I am just going on with my life.  I am moving just as I’ve been planning since Rob and I had that huge fight last spring.  I am making adjustments and changes to be ready for whenever the Lord calls me to do whatever it is He wants me to do.  (See paragraph above, I think its all related.)  I have already had a couple of leads on good churches in the Auburn and Rocklin areas.  And with a painter for a landlord I just may sink deeper into my painting.  Living out on 5 acres will give me the peace I need to paint and it will also give me fresh air.  Okay, there I was thinking about my current neighbors and how much they smoke.  It drifts through my bedroom window all day and night so that I either have to keep my window closed (claustrophobic) or use air freshener every day. 

Thank You, Lord, for my life.  It’s not exactly turning out how I envisioned it would but I know it’s turning out according to Your plans.  That is sufficient for me.


About Go Send or Disobey

John Piper said it succiently... "Go, send, or disobey." This is my journey along path to be a missionary of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
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