>It’s been a long night. I tossed and turned for most of it. I haven’t been sleeping well, a lot on my mind. I should be grateful that I have a warm and dry place to sleep. Instead I am moaning and groaning about the fact that I am sleeping alone. I am crying over the fact that I want to be married, not just a notch on some guy’s belt. I don’t understand why I have this desire on my heart if everytime I get remotely close to that goal I get dumped. And each successive time it gets worse and worse. I love so deeply and completely that each breakup is like an amputation. The pain is so intense, even after almost a month. Is it any wonder I am afraid to admit that I love? It’s not his fault. I am the defective one.
The other thing keeping me from sleep is excitement over Mexico. By this time next week 10 families will have new homes. That is approximately 40 – 50 people we will be impacting for the Lord! A huge opportunity to share God’s love and grace and mercy. I just hope that I am up for the task. I don’t know why I am nervous, I’ve done this so many times before. I know I just need to relax and let God work through me.
Thank you, Lord, for Your faithfulness. Even in the midst of my pain and misery I can find joy in serving You. Fill my life so that there is no more room for all that pain and misery. Help me keep my focus on You and Your desires for me rather than my wishes and desires for myself. I know that You always want the best for me while I may not always know what that is. I submit to Your will, O Lord. Show me the path You desire for me to walk.
Lord, please also watch over my family and those whom I love. Please keep them safe, healthy and happy. Watch over them as they go about their days. Give them love and joy in whatever form You choose to bestow upon them. Give them great jobs, great relationships and most of all, give them hearts that hunger after You. I feel free to ask this of You because I know of Your love for me and my loved ones. You sent Your only son, Jesus, to die on the cross so that we may be reconciled to You. What a wonderous gift!